I need some help here

[Au2falcons]

Hi everyone

I'm having a bit a dilema in my life at the moment, I know it's a bit personal to be publicly posting on the forums but i'm hoping there are others out there who can offer suggestions.

I've got a big issue with my social life......it's non existent.

I'm 25 years of age and wound up with no friends what so ever. Through my school years I had a few mates, but they always seemed to want to know me only for what I could do for them. I was always the one who would chase them......rarely would i get a call from them, that sort of thing. So over the years i've broken contact with them because i'm tired of being used.

Nowdays all my life consists of is work....then home, and I really hate it.

My working environment doesn't allow me to mix with other people much and if I do they're not in my age bracket. Changing jobs is not really an option as it's my own business & i've got commitments.

This has made meeting women really tough as well. I'm at the stage now where I don't know where to turn. My family doesn't seem to be interested in helping out so i'm hoping some people here may have some suggestions for me.

Most people have a group of mates that do things together, i've never really had that and it seems the older I get the less oportunites I have. Doing everything on your own all the time really sux.

I'm looking for a new avenue to meet new people, and start enjoying myself, because i'm damn sick of my own company.

Cheers.

[Yellow_Festiva]

Hmmm I hear ya.

Perhaps join a few clubs, hell your a ford driver right?? im sure there is a club for your model of car.

Go out to your local on a regular basis, have a meal and a beer or 2 and just start talking. Line up a few guys / gals for a game of pool etc and get chatting.

Perhaps do some charity work? Like going out into the city feeding ppl from a van?? this is free, you meet people (often youngins like you) and it gives you something to do that makes you feel good and costs nix.

If you want a special lass in your life, go speed dating. If you want to travel, there are heaps of companies that cater for singles or certain age groups etc.

Invite the neighbours over for a bbq?

Hope this helps.. this is just off the top of my head.

[Zed7fiddy]

Yeah mate, i was in a similar boat, moved away after school but made heaps of job related friends, but when i moved back to the sunny coast all my friends had done the same, moved on...

But i found joining car clubs the best way to meet people.

Hell, even go do some courses at tafe! i have so many course related friends its not funny!

[ILLaViTaR]

Originally Posted by Au2falcons

Hi everyone

I'm having a bit a dilema in my life at the moment, I know it's a bit personal to be publicly posting on the forums but i'm hoping there are others out there who can offer suggestions.

I've got a big issue with my social life......it's non existent.

I'm 25 years of age and wound up with no friends what so ever. Through my school years I had a few mates, but they always seemed to want to know me only for what I could do for them. I was always the one who would chase them......rarely would i get a call from them, that sort of thing. So over the years i've broken contact with them because i'm tired of being used.

Nowdays all my life consists of is work....then home, and I really hate it.

My working environment doesn't allow me to mix with other people much and if I do they're not in my age bracket. Changing jobs is not really an option as it's my own business & i've got commitments.

This has made meeting women really tough as well. I'm at the stage now where I don't know where to turn. My family doesn't seem to be interested in helping out so i'm hoping some people here may have some suggestions for me.

Most people have a group of mates that do things together, i've never really had that and it seems the older I get the less oportunites I have. Doing everything on your own all the time really sux.

I'm looking for a new avenue to meet new people, and start enjoying myself, because i'm damn sick of my own company.

Cheers.

Woah this is my social life in a nutshell.

Did you hang in multiple groups in school? Or just good friends with someone from a different group?
If so contact one of your old mates from those other groups.

Just to catch up or something and see if they're the type of person you wish to hang around with.

If you don't have any contacts from the past then find a hobby. join a club involving that hobby and you'll fit right in with those people.

I'm only 18 and am seriously considering going back to my other group of friends. I took up guitar years back and have met a hell of a lot of people just through that.

If your musically minded start a band (even if you've never touched an instrument it's never too late). Then start gigging, you won't believe how many people you'll meet and best of all they'll respect you.

(One of my mates got sick of the same group I'm sick of and is now playing bass in a band and has many connections). Music really is an amazing way to meet new people.

WHATEVER you do don't go back to this group of yours.
It hurts but the truth is they don't respect you and people like that almost always never will.

[InfernoSR]

Mate... i understand this...

For me, i got heavily depressed and suicidal... but i worked myself back out of it... and i am the same age as you...

Although you cannot do this, it worked for me... i had to leave my old job and move away... far away... like 6 hours south lol!

Once here (start of the year) i pulled my finger out and have started doing things to improve myself. I am a local at a particular pub and they know my drink of choice (water)... i am becoming the Scout Leader in town (old one has to resign due to work)... I am also a CAMS Trainee Racing Official...

You are in Sydney... the amount of things Sydney can offer far out weighs what is on offer in Bathurst, yet i can manage to find them...

Your biggest hurdle might be the same as mine... inwhich you dont want to try and meet people by yourself, you feel more comfortable in a group, instead of being alone and people follow you. You need to over come this... i did and i am much stronger because of it... i have people wanting to know me for good reasons and who are wanting to help me out...

PM me if you wanna chat some more mate.

[Sourbastard]

Come sit on uncle bastards knee, and he will make it all better.

Now, your friends, are idiots. Murder them all, place them in a large box, and ship it to Barrack Obama with postage due.

Who cares if your work mates are older, some of us old people are cool. Old people also have daughters. If you aren't familiar with how procreation works, you have scant little need of friends, or women.

Try masturbation. Its usually less disappointing, and your hand never demands that you share your feelings with it.

There. All Fixed. Go play in the traffic, theres a good lad.

[ILLaViTaR]

Originally Posted by sourbastard

Come sit on uncle bastards knee, and he will make it all better.

Now, your friends, are idiots. Murder them all, place them in a large box, and ship it to Barrack Obama with postage due.

Who cares if your work mates are older, some of us old people are cool. Old people also have daughters. If you aren't familiar with how procreation works, you have scant little need of friends, or women.

Try masturbation. Its usually less disappointing, and your hand never demands that you share your feelings with it.

There. All Fixed. Go play in the traffic, theres a good lad.

I'm sorry but every one of your posts is awesome.

[Campo81]

Originally Posted by ILLaViTaR

I'm sorry but every one of your posts is awesome.

And why are you sorry about that?

[montyv8]

Originally Posted by sourbastard

some of us old people are cool. Old people also have daughters.

no you're not. and your daughter is ten...

:

[|||]

start smoking. with the new smoking laws you have to go outside to smoke & you can talk to all the other people in the same boat. offer a ciggie to someone who looks like they know a good time and the next thing you know you're the life of the party

[Sourbastard]

Originally Posted by |||

start smoking. with the new smoking laws you have to go outside to smoke & you can talk to all the other people in the same boat. offer a ciggie to someone who looks like they know a good time and the next thing you know you're the life of the party

I like it! Mr and Mrs Intensive Care 2008!

[Gammaboy]

There's a simple 2 step program to making friends:
Step 1:
Turn the computer off
Step 2:
Go somewhere that isn't near your computer.

[Racecraft]

Originally Posted by Gammaboy

There's a simple 2 step program to making friends:
Step 1:
Turn the computer off
Step 2:
Go somewhere that isn't near your computer.

best answer yet..

[Geez Louise]

If you are wanting to meet people and make friends...why not go on an AFF cruise. Users post up cruises all the time. It is a great way to meet like minded people.
I have met some brilliant people off the Forum.

[Sourbastard]

Originally Posted by Geez Louise

I have met some brilliant people off the Forum.

Bollocks! All you have met is the AFF Cadre of frauds, suckholes, ricers, cavemen and the mentally infirm. Dont deny it, you cant change the laws of the internet.

[cob115]

Originally Posted by Geez Louise

If you are wanting to meet people and make friends...why not go on an AFF cruise. Users post up cruises all the time. It is a great way to meet like minded people.
I have met some brilliant people off the Forum.

Geez louise is spot on there champ
i need to meet more people to : a lot more women hell yea!(dont tell the wife)sorry i got of track thinking of women ,geez louise is right
cheers pat

[Sourbastard]

Originally Posted by cob115

Geez louise is spot on there champ
i need to meet more people to : a lot more women hell yea!(dont tell the wife)sorry i got of track thinking of women ,geez louise is right
cheers pat

you met me at a servo. Is your life enriched yet?

[Falcon Coupe]

Originally Posted by sourbastard

you met me at a servo. Is your life enriched yet?

Mine was after meeting you, every one has a "special friend" .

[Sourbastard]

Originally Posted by Falcon Coupe

Mine was after meeting you, every one has a "special friend" .

That was different. We had Sexy Time©

[cob115]

Originally Posted by sourbastard

you met me at a servo. Is your life enriched yet?

ha ha ha the only problem is your ugly as sin
: i reckon you have don the right thing buy telling us about your worries Au2falcons
we all have our demons (mine is i love getting hammerd drunk hell yea)
ava read of the posts on here,i didnt see any bad ones all shared your thoughts
cheers pat
PS if your in Adelaide let the forum know were always up for a cruze

[Sourbastard]

Originally Posted by cob115

ha ha ha the only problem is your ugly as sin

That was hurtful. You are cut off from Sexy Time©

Originally Posted by Jesk

...once he finds his 'vitamin' pills, they are small and blue with 'V' for Vitamin on them, then we can talk about the first thing that pops up!
(sorry mr bastard, sir that comment was just begging for it)
:monkes:

10 Viagra and I row the car to work.

Originally Posted by montyv8

no you're not.

I didnt mean me. I meant real old people, like you. You can tell us war stories and stuff about how you used to buy canned stegasaurus with food stamps.

[orsm8]

Hi Buddy, The main thing i have learned about women is that they like to talk but also like a man to talk to them about things that interest them. My experience is that you ask the what they like to do after work, Ask about her family and listen to what they say. Most women want somebody who will listen understand but share some time with them. I have a number of male friends but most of my friends are women. Most guys can be scared of women the best thing is not to be scared of the and lastly respect them. Most guys meet the opposite sex through work or other activities. Good luck

[Geez Louise]

You are correct Mr Bastard...and they are all really secret Barina drivers...

[Big Mike]

I'm with Blueprint - I found a big hole and often find myself slipping back into it again. We have to climb out, we have to see the light, and as we control everything around us (What the Bleep - Down the Rabbit Hole, funny name serious documentary you must watch it) we have to get ourselves into the right frame of mind.

The cold truth is, the older and uglier we get the less oppurtunities we receive. The girls you remember winking at you in school are all married now, so you're dead right to notice you're getting a lot less attention than you used to. This - is - normal.

Its also important to point out - that the busiest city, with the most people and action going on around you, are the loneliest places to be when you're on your own. You could find new mates in Bathurst, run into some fellas at the pub etc.; whereas in Sydney you'll see groups of people enjoying themselves and feel even more alone.

Now who's in the box to Obama with postage due?

Look, just listen to everything Sourbastard says, define your personaility and work out exactly who you are, then go along to car meets and take yourself along to things YOU want to do, and you'll find other non-desperados doing the same thing and welcoming you in. Its pretty simple really. Now Uncle Bastard, panda style this time?

[InfernoSR]

Originally Posted by Big Mike

You could find new mates in Bathurst, run into some fellas at the pub etc.; whereas in Sydney you'll see groups of people enjoying themselves and feel even more alone.

Mates yes... friends... well there is only 1 that i can a proper friend... I am yet to actually have any local friends come around, or hang out with them on a regular basis... i also know it takes time...

How about this for a gain from simply getting out there and talking to older people.... I started talking to an older guy when i first started visiting my local... i know his wife and kids (kidsare older than me).... he old guy has offered to help me out next time there is an AFF cruise to bathurst by opening up the back and front of the pits, plus open up the back road for us... and even to get the track closed for half an hour for photo opps on the grid!... and on top of that... he wants to give me his spare pass to the 1000 this year and get me up into the control tower at to watch the fire works (also wants me to bring a friend)... All that because i was polite to him and always enjoy'd a laugh with them... they are really misunderstood people, but once you get to know them and show them respect, they respect you in return and are always happy to share their time with you...

[Big Mike]

Originally Posted by BLUEPRINT

... and even to get the track closed for half an hour for photo opps on the grid!...

There's no denying old people clearly suck, their deaths being more frequent than hours blatant proof alone; however they tend to suck a little less if you can milk a pub, secret burlesque, or private Bathurst track session out of them. Are you with me people?

Back to serious input - start to enjoy your own company. Might sound wierd, but Saturday night with a couple of work mates for a friend of mine in Canberra is the loneliest night of the week for him; but the same night online or just watching telly on my own here in Adelaide isn't a big depressing hole in my life anymore. Infact, these days I don't proactively go out - I get dragged out, (and soak up every bit of it) - but I'm not sad if my buddies are having a quiet one.

[[dave]]

go join a footy club a mingle with the guys after traings and after games

but dont join a soccer club thats gay

[Duke]

Bastard, you crack me up.

Au2Falcon - there's plenty of good replies above, I think most of us have been where you are. The fact is, it'll pass, things will change in time. But if you can't wait for change to come to you, - then make things different. Change some of your habits, get out and about and let people get to know you.

[DoreSlamR]

AU2Falcons mate, I feel like I'm in a similar situation, All the mates are married or nearly married (we're all 25) and i have wasted a lot of time chasing a girl who i could never have but thought i could. OK maybe 'have' isn't the best word to describe it but you get the idea....Can get one down sometimes...

[XR6_661]

Nothing wrong with making older friends. I'm 20 and all my friends are 30+...gained them through work. And I dare say, I much prefer the company of older folks. More down to earth, etc etc.

You'll be right mate, there are far worse things in the world. Go down to your local, get some dutch courage into ya and meet some people!

I think the best start would be an AFF cruise!!

EDIT:

And women, you don't want them. They'll drag you down further...