It's the little things that I hate....

Casper · 04-01-2005, 08:56 PM

Even notice that day to day little things can bug you? Usually they are so small that they mean nothing and are never really talked about. But this one is something that I have had occur on me a few times now and, being an idiot, I fall for it the same way EVERY time.

So here it is:

I'm thirsty...normal sort of thing...so I go to the fridge.
Now opening the fridge I see the std bottle of coke in there. We have coke in the fridge all the time, its a caffine thing I guess. Mrs Casper and I both love caffine and anyone who has been to see us will know that a coffee is going to be shoved into their hand pretty quick...or a coke....(or water if your name is Jeff

)
This is however, not a normal 2l variety of Coke, its one of those insidious 1.25l jobbies...and its 4/5ths full. Its also laying temptingly on the middle shelf, not in the door like a 2l bottle. Now you would think that this would warn me that what I'm about to do is stupid...and it should.....but I'm dumb.
Being a 1.25l bottle I consider it the "man size" version of a 600ml bottle... or as us lazy people say..."cant be stuffed reaching 1 metre for a glass.:rolleyes:
So I grab it out, lift it up, pull off the cap and swing it up for a good long swig.
I have just started a chain of events that will leave me annoyed and sticky in less than 10 seconds. I've pulled the pin and committed, theres no turning back, its a live grenade of black syrup and I have no chance to stop it now.
I take the first mouthful...sweet, fizzy, yum. As I start to take the second mouthful the full terror of my situation hits me...the gas inside the bottle is expanding....FAST. I've been too rough and the gas in the Coke bottle wants out.
Now at this stage I have a mouth full of Coke and the pressure is building to a point that I have about 3 seconds to make a decision or there is going to be a big problem. The bottle has been on my lips for around 5 seconds...I have 3 seconds to make a decision.
1. Pull the bottle off my lips....this is going to just shake it up more and coke is going to go everywhere.
2. Swallow. No chance, with that pressure its going to explode into my mouth anyhow and Coke will go everywhere and I'll have a belly full of gas...not appealing and probably painful
3. Ride it out. Who am I kidding, the pressure is just too much, somethings got to give and its probably going to be my eyeballs.

So I took option 1, again, for the 136th time in my life. What a mess. I'm not happy.

Hmmm, thirsty again now. Time for a coffee, its much safer, its only scalding hot water mixed with roasted and crushed beans and milk from a cows stomach.

It's the little things that I hate....

tickford2001 · 04-01-2005, 09:01 PM

haha its alright im sure you have enough pets / kids to have it cleaned up in no time ;)

and jeff...what are you thinking giving up caffine?! it was a spin out hearing you ask for a water last night at caspers! your house is another place where a coffee is shoved in your hand soon after entering...

casper, you guys make a good drop too, what is it?

Casper · 04-01-2005, 09:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tickford2001

casper, you guys make a good drop too, what is it?

Mocha Kenya....STRONG.

I hate weak coffee, give me double shot every time.

SpoolMan · 04-01-2005, 09:10 PM

Hi Shane, when i seen the thread heading, i thought Mrs.Casper must have started this thread..lol..

Casper · 04-01-2005, 09:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by XRFPV8

Hi Shane, when i seen the thread heading, i thought Mrs.Casper must have started this thread..lol..

Well, she does hate little things....thats why she married me and not some tiny fella :p

TIKFD6 · 04-01-2005, 09:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Casper

Mocha Kenya....STRONG.

I hate weak coffee, give me double shot every time.

I must concure, Shane dosent make a bad coffee.

tickford2001 · 04-01-2005, 09:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Casper

Mocha Kenya....STRONG.

I hate weak coffee, give me double shot every time.

well 10 points to the kenyans then - no wonder they run so fast...had me buzzing for a while! ;)

Psycho Chicken · 04-01-2005, 09:05 PM

I thought this thread was going to be about kittens ****ing all over the place :p

I prefer to just hang on until the bottle is forced away from your mouth and coke comes out your nose. You win some, you lose most.

TIKFD6 · 04-01-2005, 09:07 PM

DOnt worry Shane it happens to the best of us.
:P

The MaDDeSTMaN · 04-01-2005, 09:31 PM

Ahh, one of the few (ok, probably the ONLY) advantage to drinking diet coke or Pepsi max is that it has less gas... Not to mention less taste too, no doubt, lol

Feathers · 04-01-2005, 09:38 PM

HAHAHAHA!!!

I'm crying from laughing right now. I've done that so many times.
It's just as bad as "snorting" coke, when you're drinking and someone says something funny. If it's unleaded (diet) coke it stings your nose.

My funniest coke related incident was while shopping with my father.
We were looking for the regular coke rather than the decaffinated or whatever, but all the labels looked the same.
I picked up a bottle, read the label, it wasn't what I wanted, and went to put it back on the shelf.
I could have sworn that I had it over the shelf when I let go, but alas no.
The bottle dropped from my hand, and I could only watch in horror as it hit the ground. But instead of bursting open it started to spin, then it started expanding, until the pressure forced the cap to come off, and launched the bottle under the aisles across the supermarket. We could hear the other shoppers in the next few aisles exclaiming and wondering what was going on.
Dad and I looked at each other, grabbed another bottle, and walked casually to the checkouts.
Store employee on the P.A.:"Can I have a store cleaner, with a mop and bucket to aisle 1,2,3,4...."

Yummy Mummy · 04-01-2005, 09:41 PM

the moral of the story, when at Casper's and he offers you a coke, say NO!

The MaDDeSTMaN · 04-01-2005, 09:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mrs kooky

the moral of the story, when at Casper's and he offers you a coke, say NO!

Or ask for it in a glass, or you could always BYO

smciner1 · 04-01-2005, 09:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mrs kooky

the moral of the story, when at Casper's and he offers you a coke, say NO!

Never (tm)!

mmmmmmmm COKE (tm)!!!!!!!!!!

xr8ute · 04-01-2005, 09:56 PM

Feathers...that story is a classic :p

Feathers · 04-01-2005, 10:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xr8ute

Feathers...that story is a classic :p

I then did it again not so long ago in my own store. It went under the checkouts and into the complex outside.
and didn't I feel stupid walking out after it to clean it all up :o

05-01-2005, 12:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mrs kooky

the moral of the story, when at Casper's and he offers you a coke, say NO!

Just make sure there is no backwash :p

Hawk · 04-01-2005, 09:44 PM

I worry about you Shane. Truly I do.

What is even more worrying is that I am related!

FalKeen · 04-01-2005, 09:49 PM

reminds me of the time i slipped one of those sachets of sugar into my brothers glass of coke at a very posh restaraunt

if people havent tried it lets just say the coke reacts strongly to a big chunk of sugar

**Stav** · 04-01-2005, 09:50 PM

Muahahah.....like the cork which hits you when openning wine....

FordFan86 · 04-01-2005, 09:51 PM

bwhahahah you just pWn3d!!111 urself :P

more seriously... it is the little thingsin life that do just turn into one big thing... and in the end it jsut gets out of control and really affects you till you dont know what to do about it.....

Toolman · 04-01-2005, 10:16 PM

ha ha ... Casper....

not down the shirt, up the nose, over the floor and into the fridge...????

good for douching the sinus... not much else... and a bastard to clean of the fridge rubbers... let alone the crisper...

Once in a drunken state I was snacking and accidently spat an olive pip into the coke bottle I was slugging out of... partner at the time, oblivious to the habits of the pig she was living with compalined to Coke...

Not wanting to own up to my "spit the olive pip in the bottle trick"... I remained silent... and became the owner of several dozen bottle of coke, a coke beach umbrella and beach towels... (no shame here mate)

Don't stop swigging Casper, it's great to be a bloke!

fairmont1998 · 04-01-2005, 10:43 PM

ROFL. That's so true.
Another one I'll never learn: Thirsty. Mmmm, Coke machine. Insert money, press button. Machine whirs and clunks for a few seconds then fires a bottle of Coke into the tray with the speed of an Inter Continental Ballistic Missile. Darin immediately grabs and opens coke. Stars, transfixed at the rapidly rising bubbles, they're not stopping! Darin starts frantically hoovering bubbles off the bottle neck.... Bloody Coke machines.

**Falcon Coupe** · 04-01-2005, 10:50 PM

I did that a couple of years ago Casper, except i put the coke in the freezer for a while and forgot about for 2 hours, i took it out and it looked frozen, i sat it on the kitchen bench and decided to open it, i twisted the top about one 3rd of turn, as soon as the plastic seal broke the bottle expoded, it took us 2 hours to clean the frozen coke off all the cupboards etc....and no, i am still yet to paint the ceiling to remove the stains.
I felt like one of these Ducklings.

champsky · 04-01-2005, 11:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Falcon Coupe

I did that a couple of years ago Casper, except i put the coke in the freezer for a while and forgot about for 2 hours, i took it out and it looked frozen, i sat it on the kitchen bench and decided to open it, i twisted the top about one 3rd of turn, as soon as the plastic seal broke the bottle expoded, it took us 2 hours to clean the frozen coke off all the cupboards etc....and no, i am still yet to paint the ceiling to remove the stains.
I felt like one of these Ducklings.

:rofl:

thats funny as :P

hehehe sounds like ppl dont got no bottle control.......HA no0Bs!

btw why is it only the 1.25 thats the lazy mans bottle?

it goes like this:

350ml??? - POOFS! size (tm)
600ml - snack size.
1.25L - XL snack size
2L - real mans size!
3L - DAMN!!!

hehehehe oh yeah, whats a cup????

rodderz · 05-01-2005, 09:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Falcon Coupe

I felt like one of these Ducklings.

LOL!!!

You just see the look on the mum ducks face- "WHERE THE F**K ARE THEY?"

Damo · 04-01-2005, 10:55 PM

lol, good read Casper..

:P

Damo · 04-01-2005, 10:58 PM

OMG @ the ducks... hahaha.

poor ducks :(

b2tf · 04-01-2005, 11:03 PM

LOL @ the Coke Story.

Feathers, ive done it too but i did it with a full box (12x 1.25L bottles). Came straight off the pallet and the *** fell out of the box - the Coke followed. Needless to say i used my power as team leader to get one of the other guys to clean it up hehehehehehehe.

Also equally annoying is when i drive dad's car to work - my locker key is on my keys, so if i forget to take them i cant get into the bloody thing.

champsky · 04-01-2005, 11:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by back2thefutura

LOL @ the Coke Story.

Feathers, ive done it too but i did it with a full box (12x 1.25L bottles). Came straight off the pallet and the *** fell out of the box - the Coke followed. Needless to say i used my power as team leader to get one of the other guys to clean it up hehehehehehehe.

Also equally annoying is when i drive dad's car to work - my locker key is on my keys, so if i forget to take them i cant get into the bloody thing.

ahhh the joys of being team leader hehehehehehe