Another tragic addition to the toll last night. - Page 2

Matt5933 · 09-01-2013, 12:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bud Bud

I agree totally but...If you can't help him like a mate should be able to then dob him in before it's too late because he could quite easily be on the other end of something very similar. You have already published this info in a public forum so you have made everyone else very aware of his actions and nobody wants blood on there hands.

I have no time for drink drivers and it will be equally devastating for the dead passengers family to find if the other female driver was also over the limit after the investigation, and especially if other friends (the same ones that now morn their deaths on facebook) knew before hand as well...

Bud Bud

I agree with you completely, there is no excuse for drink driving. The amount of times we've had to wrestle they keys out of this guys hand to stop him from driving is beyond a joke. He is a big boy and I'm not so it isn't always easy.
How he hasn't been picked up by police before is absolutely beyond belief as we have regular random breath tests and licence checks in my area. unfortunately even if he was picked up and sent to court and lost his licence he would continue to drive regardless as this is just the attitude towards driving he has.

Myself and fellow friends have done a lot to try to help this friend but it is almost impossible as he will point blank refuse to admit he has a problem or find treatment. Even more annoying is we spoke to his mother about the problem and she flat refused to admit he has a drinking problem. Because drinking 30 standard drinks alone in your bedroom every day is normal..

csv8 · 09-01-2013, 12:40 AM

People will still drive when their licence is cancelled or suspended. How to stop them driving is impossible. Sad that people die.....Some people never learn...

XBROO · 09-01-2013, 10:27 AM

Look I know telling Matt5933 to dob a mate in, is the right thing to do. But you're not in his situation, and then he'd get the title of being a dog. Even if he tried to do it anonymously, Matt would still feel like a dog, even though he's done the right thing. Catch 22

XBROO · 09-01-2013, 10:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cal0006

Your friend obviously has issues and IMO he should be behind bars by now. If I were you, I'd (anonymously if you desire) ring up your local cop shop, give as much detail as possible. That he drives constantly drives intoxicated.

I'm almost disappointed that you actually haven't reported him yet. Sure, I know people who break the law (just a little bit of fun - accelerate vigerously, break traction, standard stuff) but the difference being, there's a time and a place. If I break the law, I do it when a) there's no one around to become a fatality apart from me and b) The conditions allow. Lecture me on breaking the law, whatever.

But drink driving is a whole kettle of fish. You don't just "stop" being drunk if you have a near miss. You don't resume driving to the conditions when you're drunk.

The fact is that you have severely impared reflexes, you cannot make accurate decisions, and you don't drive to your skill level (unless you're an absolute shithouse driver).

There's always an exception to the rule, my older brother is an alcoholic. And he can not function with out atleast a six pack under the belt. I've been in the car both when he's had a few and when he is dead sober. And I'd rather get in the car when he's drunk. He's been like this for the last 30 years and has never had an accident, while been drunk. He has had a few when he has been soba, and all from undue care. I know this sound weird but it's the absolute thruth. I would dob him in but as he is the caretaker of my 82 year old mother, he dose need a licence.

Yeah I know I'm a hypocrite, because usually I have no time for drink drivers.

cal0006 · 09-01-2013, 06:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by XBROO

Look I know telling Matt5933 to dob a mate in, is the right thing to do. But you're not in his situation, and then he'd get the title of being a dog. Even if he tried to do it anonymously, Matt would still feel like a dog, even though he's done the right thing. Catch 22

I see where you're coming from, but think of it this way. He sees his friend drinking copious amounts (like, loss of balance drunk) and proceeds to drive his car. He then hears half an hour later, that he lost consciousness (or zoned out, whatever), swerved onto the wrong side of the road and plows into a sedan with a mother, father and 3 children in it. Or to make it worse, maybe a pregnant mother, father and two children in the back. Mother is heavily pregnant. Maybe the kids and the mother die, father is left with nothing to live for.

Not only has the reckless actions of the driver destroyed a family (and the two surrounding extended families) but he will be looking at jail time, fines, and I don't know the laws stance but either loss of license for a long period of time, an alcohol interlock, never being allowed to drive again, or a combination (once again, I dunno).

The poster and the guy (if he doesn't kill himself in the accident or turn himself into a vegetable) now have to live with this (the driver living with what he did, the poster living with knowing he let it happen).

To be honest, any day of the week I'd be choosing dobbing him in. I would rather the guilt and the possible social outcastness that follows, then knowing that because I didn't make a simple phone call, alert the appropriate people, and that those decisions have killed people (when the other option stood a good chance of preventing it).

My dad is an alcoholic abuser (versus being an alcoholic - an alcoholic in my definition is someone who literally cannot function without it, and require the presence of it to be active) and will just drink and drink. Won't stop at 2, he will stop when it runs dry or he falls asleep. He's been drunk to the point where he abuses his wife and children, and I had to make the judgement call of whether I should punch his lights out as a safety measure. If I have to choose between a loving, spoiling mother + my brothers who I'm very close to, and my dad who doesn't know when to stop, I'm going to clench and throw some knuckles.

But it does come down to your choice. If being "popular" and having friends who do such idiotic things, then so be it. Just don't let these arsehat idiots drive anywhere near me, my family, or my friends.

ED: Also, saying someone can't function without alcohol is pure ********. Yes, they might be severely addicted to drinking it, but letting it happen is absolute bull. Rehab. Don't let them drive on the road because "they need it". That is absolute rubbish.

XBROO · 10-01-2013, 11:04 AM

Mate I have thought about it that way, and he could dob them him in. But then he'd would have to wipe him as a friend, then lose other because they'll think his a dog. He could wipe all his friend and move town and start over I guess. Being a young fella friends mean alot, as you get older your family means more. I guess it's up to him in the end.

My brother is almost 50 and has been an alcoholic since he was 15, he has always driven drunk until this date has never had an accident while being drunk. And to dob him in would mean we would have to find a carer for my 82yo mother. Like I've said I have no worries about jumping in with him when he is drunk as I know he drives better then when he's soba. (like I said ecception to the rule)
I be more worried if he drove around soba as he would cause an accident and maybe kill someone. Look this sound weird but I bet there's other out there that know people like this. He can have a carton under the belt and you wouldn't even know it as he seems perfectly soba. Look it not right but I for one aren't going to change him now and he's been driving for over 30 yaers and haven't killed anyone yet.

Bud Bud · 10-01-2013, 02:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by XBROO

Mate I have thought about it that way, and he could dob them him in. But then he'd would have to wipe him as a friend, then lose other because they'll think his a dog. He could wipe all his friend and move town and start over I guess. Being a young fella friends mean alot, as you get older your family means more. I guess it's up to him in the end.

Hmm ok, so what you are saying is that it is better to lose someone from dobbing them in than it is to lose them from road trauma? Bearing in mind if you were to lose them in a road fatality, you also run the risk of losing other innocent parties such as you own loved ones as well. As I have already, said if the investigation into the OP's tragedy points to the fact the female driver was over the limit only to find that some friends knew about it then how devastating for all of the families including the friends that may have known prior. But if they did know before hand then at least they did not dob on their now dead mates...

Quote:

Originally Posted by XBROO

My brother is almost 50 and has been an alcoholic since he was 15, he has always driven drunk until this date has never had an accident while being drunk. And to dob him in would mean we would have to find a carer for my 82yo mother. Like I've said I have no worries about jumping in with him when he is drunk as I know he drives better then when he's soba. (like I said ecception to the rule)
I be more worried if he drove around soba as he would cause an accident and maybe kill someone. Look this sound weird but I bet there's other out there that know people like this. He can have a carton under the belt and you wouldn't even know it as he seems perfectly soba. Look it not right but I for one aren't going to change him now and he's been driving for over 30 yaers and haven't killed anyone yet.

Wow just wow. I hope for your sake (and your 82 yo mother's) that he is never involved in a fatality while he is drunk. That’s a life changer right there.

Your attitude towards his antisocial behaviour is baffling, would you let him fly a plane if he was 30 years qualified but still drunk? Would you be a passenger?

Bud Bud

flappist · 10-01-2013, 02:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by eb2monty

What are you getting at? That I've fallen to peer pressure because I have 5 Fords and been a member of this forum for 7 years? You don't become a Ford fan from peer pressure. If anything, peer pressure would have made me a Holden fan. Ford is the underdog.

Unless I have misinterpreted your statement?

No, you understand it, you are just in denial.

Peer: others of equal standing within a group (in this case ford owners)

You have been conversing regularly with members on AFF on various Ford centric subjects. You take notice of replies and care about what is said (as demonstrated by your reply to me)

You have 5 Ford cars which you have detailed in your signature as a sort of "bonafides" to others that you are in fact a proud Ford enthusiast.

Your replies in threads demonstrate some pressure on your thinking.

Just about everyone else here is the same so don't feel special. Your concept that "peer pressure" would have made you buy holden would only be valid if you cared what the holden people thought.

One difference between older people and younger ones is that in the case of younger people their peer group is often the most important thing in their lives and they do not have the experience to understand that the idea that they must comply with the peer group to be accepted in invalid.

Human beings are both instinctivly gregarious and xenophobic. During adolescence there is a lot of confusion and instictinvely young people stay in groups and will do anything to not appear "different".

This is part of the reason why young people tend to make a lot of bad decisions. They are learning what the results of their actions are. Unfortunately the 21st century nannyistas with their cotton wool mentality are preventing young people from leaning by making mistakes e.g. falling out of tree or off a pushbike or getting sunburnt or getting lost etc. which deprives them of a lot of background experience and sometimes leads to a more dangerous or even fatal event in later life.

MITCHAY · 10-01-2013, 05:59 PM

Well in something different the parents have told a story other than the usual 'they were a good kid etc' . Perhaps something for parents to show their children this age.

http://www.news.com.au/national/sama...-1226550771640

LG17 · 10-01-2013, 07:12 PM

Wow - that is refreshingly honest and ballsy!

Angeldust · 10-01-2013, 09:22 PM

read the comments section

XBROO · 10-01-2013, 09:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bud Bud

Hmm ok, so what you are saying is that it is better to lose someone from dobbing them in than it is to lose them from road trauma? Bearing in mind if you were to lose them in a road fatality, you also run the risk of losing other innocent parties such as you own loved ones as well. As I have already, said if the investigation into the OP's tragedy points to the fact the female driver was over the limit only to find that some friends knew about it then how devastating for all of the families including the friends that may have known prior. But if they did know before hand then at least they did not dob on their now dead mates...Wow just wow. I hope for your sake (and your 82 yo mother's) that he is never involved in a fatality while he is drunk. That’s a life changer right there.

Your attitude towards his antisocial behaviour is baffling, would you let him fly a plane if he was 30 years qualified but still drunk? Would you be a passenger?

Bud Bud

I'm glad I'm baffling someone with that.

noflac52 · 11-01-2013, 01:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by XBROO

Look I know telling Matt5933 to dob a mate in, is the right thing to do. But you're not in his situation, and then he'd get the title of being a dog. Even if he tried to do it anonymously, Matt would still feel like a dog, even though he's done the right thing. Catch 22

The term dog that you are using comes from one criminal dobbing in another criminal and is used commonly among them.

Matt5933 by the nature of his posts appears to be anything but a criminal so why should he feel like a dog. Its a completely different situation that he is in.

BOOSTEDGAZ · 13-01-2013, 08:41 AM

REAL Mates help there mates they don't enable them. Would you rather your mate was ****ed with you but then once they got the help they needed to recover from there alcoholism thanked you or stand there at his funeral knowing you could have done something.
I have a mate who until his mid 20's was drinking every day and driving like it was no big deal. In the end we gave him the hard word drink however you want but we aint tolerating your driving. It was easy, you want to come to the parties, clubs etc we pick you up, you hand over the keys or F%$k off and find some new friends to party with. One of the nights he handed over his keys got drunk and tried to get his keys to drive home. I knocked him out, broke his nose and locked him in our spare room. He was angry as with me at the time. 2 days later he thanked me for possibly saving his life.
Luckily we didn't have to go to the cops, he realised he had a problem and got the help he needed and we are still good mates but i can tell you know i would have rung the cops if i had too. I also know i couldn't live with myself if he killed himself or someone else and i could have stopped it. It is one thing to nark to save your own butt or whatever its another to possiblly save someones life - be it ya mates or an innocent party than ruin your own life with a guilty conscience and wondering what if??

As i said real mates do what needs to be done to help there mates even if it is the hardest thing you ever have to do, a real mate does it. He doesn't stand by and watch there "mate" destroy themselves and possibly some poor innocent family in the process.

noflac52 · 13-01-2013, 12:30 PM

[QUOTE=
As i said real mates do what needs to be done to help there mates even if it is the hardest thing you ever have to do, a real mate does it. He doesn't stand by and watch there "mate" destroy themselves and possibly some poor innocent family in the process.[/QUOTE]

There's not much more that needs to be said about mateship. This says it all.