Dazzler's BIG DAY OUT with DJR at Lakeside Raceway 11/02/2014

[Road Games]

Breathe breathe breathe nah i can't breathe gotta get out and try to fit in this web of pipes again...

Rightio legs first this time hang onto the cage slide my **** in yes success... Oh oh now i can't catch my breath the race suit is strangling me and it must be 60 degrees in this cockpit....

What ...don't pull the belts tighter now i really cant breathe, why did i fall in love with pizza and beer all these years this has just gone pear shaped, the best ride of my life ahead of me and all i can think about is falling into unconciousness..

Bang...too late we stall and i snap out of it .. there ya go my fat **** has just made David Wall stall the thing for the first time today .. bang and away we go bang bang bang braking from 200 into the carousel where i understeered wide 2 years ago in my Falcon at a fathers day happy laps cruise..

But this ain't no happy laps this machine is set on KILL and i don't have any oxygen in my lungs and the curb we just hit under the bridge has me thinking of how if i get cut out of this car from hitting the wall roof first after touring the grass then my swollen knees will be the least of my worries...

I vaguely hear "watch this" as we sail around the corner foot flat and lift again only to momentarily wind up the slingshot Bam Bam Bam Bam 230 + and back on the brakes in a hearbeat .. hang on have i still got one ?

Yes i do praise jesus i'm alive .. the engine has definately been turned down for today ... or it could just be my added weight making the sucrogen E85 work harder ?

Never the less everytime i think we cannot possibly stop in time we do .. repeatedly... and no understeer ..none .. ever... one lap becomes two laps and then three this thing will be a contender in the championship hunt this year for sure, trust me the guys have it sorted and with more seat time in the cars they are only going to get quicker !

And in we come Koff koff koff Bang bang splutter was that the exhaust overrun or was it me ??

I turn the buckle on the quick release harness .. oh crap we havn't stopped yet , he is aiming for the control guy with the board i brace myself against the roll cage .. my face is red and my pulse is racing ... we stop FAST !

Three or so people help me extract myself from the cage riddled beast of a machine and i thought i heard one call for a medico ?

Free at last i remove my helmet and pull the racesuit zip down ...

I notice my legs are shaking and my heart is still racing.. the nice lady that only moments ago tried to kill me by pointing where to jump in has now offered a bottle of water and a usb stick of precious memories.

I am buzzing absolutely convinced that fast food and alcohol will never touch my lips again, but at the same time wondering why i couldn't get a racesuit custom made for this very occasion ?

When i signed up for this it was a Birthday present and a casual comment was made that i should be 95kg's at most .. LOL well yeah if ya cut maybe one leg off ?

The e-mail last week went one further and stipulated 90kg's ... OMG ... I get on the scales at the last minute ...113kg's ...

I'm not gonna fit !

But i did...eventually...

And i swear if you ever get the chance to experience one of these new generation racecars first hand DO IT .. the experience will live with me forever and it has been the turning point for my diet and my future lifestyle choices...

Well Played Dick Johnson Racing well played...

*sidenote* I was meant to go with Scott Pye but there was a technical gliche just as i was about to step into No 16... So they quickly bundled me into No 17

I heard David Wall tell his crew chief that i was a bit of a screamer LOL it was the only part that actually recorded on the USB, but i promise you fine folk's i never said a thing the whole time .. i couldn't .. my breath was taken away .. literally..

I tried to catch up with my namesake Ash Walsh but i couldn't find him anywhere unlike Andre Heimgartner who we chatted for ages too what a cool guy ...

GO HARD GO FORD and bring on 2014 .. Dazzler..x..