Need some advice, particularly from female persuasion.

[fiery]

Originally Posted by popinfresh

I told her a couple nights a go. She was a bit quite to start with, but took it allright. She was glad I was honest etc and didn't hold anything against me, which was a relief.

She's upset/angry at the other girl as you can imagine, which may make things a little awkward when she see's her, but what can you do?

Well done for telling her and being honest.. that is the biggest part of any relationship (honesty and trust)...

Things will take a bit of time to completely settle I am sure, but it will in time..

Forget the other girl... she should not be in close contact with you and I certainly would not let her anywhere near your girlfriend... ing_sm

Glad things are ok though

[Van D]

Originally Posted by fiery

Well done for telling her and being honest.. that is the biggest part of any relationship (honesty and trust)...

Things will take a bit of time to completely settle I am sure, but it will in time..

Forget the other girl... she should not be in close contact with you and I certainly would not let her anywhere near your girlfriend... ing_sm

Glad things are ok though

Yeah, I havn't spoken to her or anything since. Only hard thing is i'm in a class with her thats very interactive.. And there's plenty of parties where my girlfriend will probably see her =/ That's what i'm worried about, lol.

Oh well, it'll settle sometime.

Thanks for the help fiery =)

[Van D]

Originally Posted by XRchic

Your girlfriend MAY understand what drove the girl to do that in the beginning but depression is not an EXCUSE for it, its a REASON. People with depression can still think about consequences and understand what they are doing. They just see some thing with an altered perspective I guess.

Looking for affection/attention/reassurance is quite common with depressed people and often it can be misdirected and misguided. The worst thing you could have done was to validate her mixed up thoughts and let her get into bed with you. Im NOT saying you should not have helped her, Im just saying that letting her do that was NOT helping her as you thought it might. It has probably just confused her more. You would have been better off helping her by taking her out somewhere and having a talk, or just doing something with her which she enjoys but which is not personal. They key is to NOT GET PERSONAL.

Anyways, you probably werent to know and you did your best and you were probably confused too. Hopefully in time your girlfriend will understand a little more and hopefully it all doesnt bite you on the bum at some later stage.

Good luck mate

Jac

Yeah, I understand that. I have depression as well, lol. I think my girlfriend understood the whole 'bed' thing well enough, because it was really just a doonah on the floor, lol. I should have mentioned as well I suppose that the other girl had a seperate blanket wrapped around her, so it wasn't like intimate/close quaters sort of thing =) I know what you're saying though.

[XRchic]

Originally Posted by popinfresh

Yeah, I understand that. I have depression as well, lol. I think my girlfriend understood the whole 'bed' thing well enough, because it was really just a doonah on the floor, lol. I should have mentioned as well I suppose that the other girl had a seperate blanket wrapped around her, so it wasn't like intimate/close quaters sort of thing =) I know what you're saying though.

Thats good, it sounds like you have a pretty decent, understanding girlfriend! Lets hope its all good now then and you can cheer up a bit

Jac